I am never at rest. Even when I’m sleeping I’m grinding my teeth. I wake every couple of hours to deal with a child for one reason or another. Not good. We are trying desperately to teach our children how to rest. and think. Just yesterday Ella learned a new word - “pensive” - and we introduced a new bed time blessing, read the words by the Dalai Lama below. The body and the brain need rest, in between activity, in between mistakes, in between successes, to reorganize synaptic connections and to be open again for new information. Resting is underrated in western culture. Watching TV doesn’t count. that’s not rest, that’s denial. I’m talking about taking moments of appreciation. I think this is why prayer is so convincing - it is a kind of rest. but i am calling for a more self-reflective rest.

How do you rest?

A PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE

“Every day, think as you wake up,
Today I am fortunate to have woken up,
I am alive;
I have a precious human life.
I am not going to waste it,
I am going to use all my energies to develop myself.
To expand my heart out to others,
To achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings,
I am going to have kind thoughts towards others,
I am not going to get angry, or think badly about others,
I am going to benefit others as much as i can.”

H.H. The XIV Dalai Lama

We try to practice attachment parenting in our house. This means we all sleep in the same bed, nurse past one year, never leave the kids with a babysitter unless we absolutely have to, never let them cry themselves to sleep alone, and carry them as much as possible.  It just feels like the right approach. i can’t imagine doing anything else. We didn’t even buy a stroller for our first daughter until she was 6 or 7 months old. And then we rarely used it.  Crib? hah. nice invention for holding toys.

The result is a 4 year old that is extremely confident, head-strong, and passionate and a one year old that is calm, content and wide-eyed to the world. Does the constant cradling have anything to do with it? My heart tells me it does and there is a growing body of research that backs that up.

How does this ideal (yes, it’s an ideal, of course i lose my temper) of loving, respectful and patient parenting influence my artistic process?  Is it simply that i don’t have time to work out my ideas? or do i hang on to them too long before letting them out into the world. Have i become too attached?

At what stage do you share your ideas? questions? research? worries?

Mother’s have always been forced to make difficult decisions about how to protect, feed, defend and nurture their offspring. Boys vrs girls, strong vrs weak, smart vrs dumb - if there are limited resources and only primary caretaker it becomes a matter of life and death. In some primates species, mothers will allow a conquering male to kill her infant sired by a previous mate before she mates with the new male.  Nature is tough and unemotional. In some South American cultures newborns are not named or even touched much for the first year - so many die that the investments are not made until the babies prove their survival strength. Of course this lack of touch and bonding causes much of the death all by itself.  I find these stories heart-wrenching and hard to accept. My privileged life allows me to make sure both of my young daughters get everything they need and lots they don’t. Will my children be weak as a result?

How do these same principles apply to other creative acts? Are you forced to make hard choices about what projects you can work on?

One thing parenthood has taught me is that I have to accept the fact that I cannot give 150% to anything anymore.  It’s about 74% these days. With a lot of lost keys, forgotten sunglasses, and questionable hygiene. Are there mothers out there that feel you are able to produce extremely high quality results in what you do? What is your formula?